A few rules of thumb that I use to check my copy on the basic principles of human psychology.

What’s in it for me? – (WIIFM?)

How do you benefit your audience? What kind of tasks do you take off of their plates?

Or maybe, you add more tasks with your email?

Go over your email and look at all the phrases, in which you talk about your service in a way, that not only serves you but does not serve your audience in any single way.

• I do cold emails

• I am very experienced I have 2 years experience

• I have an average reply rate of

• I can also make landing pages for projects

THERE IS NO I IN TEAM.

Jokes aside. You are only talking about yourself. Try to put yourself in the perspective of the reader.

The reader might be a Business Owner, that has all sorts of stuff to do, besides the obvious ones that move the needle. Let’s say you want to support this business owner in especially in those needle-moving areas.

You, only mentioning what you can do, does not serve any purpose at all. How you do it might be more interesting.

But the "why" is the most interesting question of all.

Explain, why you think, that what you are doing is helpful for the business owner.

I bring leads right to your inbox by sending out cold emails to virtually unlimited businesses in your target niche.

It’s all performance-based so you don’t have to have any skin in the game

And you don’t pay for any leads until we close the first client.

WAY more interesting, and way more helpful to understand, how your email might move the needle for the business owner.

Grandma Principle

Pretty simple: Does it look, smell, sound, or feel salesy?

Then remove it.

If Grandma throws away your mail, everyone will.

Avoid Book-Sized Messages

We are not aiming to write a 5 part book series that might make it to Hollywood.

We are here to help our prospects understand if our offer is helpful for them. To achieve this goal we need clarity. Unfortunately, you make your life much harder, if you start writing 3-page sales letters via email.

Now I am not saying it is impossible to succeed with a long letter. It is very much possible.

My advice is, that if you are not fully confident in your abilities, I would advise you to keep yourself concise.

Keep it concise and easy to read.

If you want to write a long email, you can. But beware, that it has to be written very well.

If you aren't confident in your writing abilities, you should stick to the basics and keep yourself concise.

Obvious Mistakes

Now this should be common sense, but unfortunately, it is not. Basic grammar or spelling errors happen. Especially in the first or second drafts. But for the sake of every dictionary: Do not leave your final version unchecked for obvious mistakes.

Make sure you look at punctuation, spelling, grammar, and basic sentence structures. Remove common mistakes. Read it out loud and then improve on found errors.

No need to overthink anything. Just go over it or use tools like Grammarly or ChatGPT to check your copy.

Go over your stuff

• remove common mistakes

• read it out loud.

• improve on found errors

Don’t Insult Your Way to the Sale

Most of the time, it happens without any bad intentions. Sometimes it’s the phrasing that gives the impression of insult.

But still: It makes your life harder than it has to be.

Most of the time it looks like this:

Hey, I have seen your website and I like the colors and everything, BUT…

Hey Tom, I know you are busy but I know how to fix your business!

I have seen your last post and you don’t seem to get too many clicks, do you? I can help you with that.

Now if you had one single chance to convince someone to pay you money for your services, would you go about it like this?

Just asking.

By assuming things you can not know, telling your readers that you know something they don’t and ultimately lecturing them on things they haven’t permitted you to, you put yourself on a self-built pedestal of arrogance.

Don’t just not insult your prospects. BE GENUINELY POSITIVE.

Don’t put yourself on a pedestal.

Don’t try to lecture people on stuff they probably might know.

Do not only not insult your prospects… BE GENUINELY POSITIVE.

Bar-Test: Do You Sound Like a Robot?

This one is one of my favorites. Go look at your copy. Read it out loud.

Would you say that in this exact way to some random stranger in a bar? Statistically, I have to assume that you wouldn’t.

You are a human being. Your recipient is most likely too.

Write from a human being to another human being.

No AI-generated compliments, no bland phrases, and exaggerated enthusiasm.

Be brief & concise. Act like a human.

• read your copy out loud

• would you speak like that to a random person in a bar?

• be brief & concise

• let paragraphs vary in size. No „single sentence paragraphs only“.

Are You Waffling?

Well, what better way to tell you this point than by writing a whole lot of nonsense to just fill up space and… oh yeah, and… did I tell you I love cold emails? Like the immense power of it is just mind-boggling. The ability to reach every single person in the world who has an email address just seems like it is from outer space. And there are like so many tools, that automate the personalization and sending of said emails. Some even can help you with finding prospects. As if you would show wifi to our ancestors while they were thinking about going to war with Napoleon… or maybe showing that one UFO they found in the Rocky Mountains… truly amazing.

So anyways… where was I?

Get to the damn point. Don’t waffle around.

Omit needless words.

• Get to the point. Don’t waffle around.

• nothing concrete is coming out of your mouth

• -> omit needless words

Are You Lecturing?

There is a time for lectures, but it’s not in the outreach phase.

Now, I discussed this point earlier on, but I want to emphasize it. There are only a few things worse than waffling. And that is lecturing about stuff your prospect either already knows, or has no interest in at all. This means that you are not only lecturing but also waffling… Mind-bending.

There is certainly a time for lecturing your prospects on their way to becoming a client, but certainly not during outreach.

Are You a Fanboy?

Leave out any compliments if you don’t mean it. Compliments achieve almost nothing but a weird impression. You position yourself in a very desperate position and you haven’t even started with your pitch.

Leave it out if you don’t mean it. You come across as desperate.

Subject Lines

keep it super simple

if you wanna get clients for your prospects use „clients“.

Grandma Principle applies.

Now subject lines are an amazing tool to boost your open rates. I understand that very well.

But as in all things sales, the grandma principle applies: Keep it simple. Don’t come off as salesy or sleazy.

Using „clients“ for your subject line, if you want to get clients for your prospects sounds crazy, but it truly isn’t.